Pamela Anderson Recycled Her Third Ex-Husband

January 12, 2014 / Posted by:

Pamela Anderson is a vegan (the only meat she puts in her mouth is at least 8 inches long and spits out man leche, thankyouverymuch), is PETA’s hardest-working whore and she cares about the environment and shit, so she tries to keep it green, which is why she recycles everything including the dicks that she rides on full-time. The Canadian blossom who re-planted herself in the gardens of America recycled Tommy Lee’s stretched Escalade dick several times before breaking up with him for good (probably not, they are the Burton & Taylor of the CDC) in 2010 and she married Kid Rock in 2006 after breaking up with him the first time in 2003. Well, Pamela is recycling again. She married Wonky McValtrex’s fuck tape c0-star and her third ex-husband, Rick Salomon, recently. The free clinic has a new first couple!

At Sean Penn’s Help Haiti Gala in L.A. last night, Pamela showed off her new, huge ring and told E! News that she got secret married to Rick Salomon. Pamela and Rick got married in 2007 and they annulled that shit a year later. They recently started bumping genitals again. Rick didn’t walk the carpet with Pamela last night, but she said that she’s happy and her family is happy about it.

“We’re very happy. Our families are very happy and that’s all that matters.”

Besides that popped clit pimple Paris Hilton, Rick has exquisite taste in women. His ex-wives club includes E.G. Daily and Brenda Walsh.

I could sit here and shit on Pamela Anderson for the bad decisions she’s made in her love life, but I’m not going to. Pamela made the right decision to keep her eyebrows looking like they were tattooed on with a BIC pen, a soda can pull tab and a lighter by her cholita cellmate in a women’s state prison in Central California and THAT’S the only decision that matters to me.

Here’s Pamela looking like a chola Susan Powter (chola name: La Sane Girl) at that Help Haiti Gala last night.

Pics: Getty, Wenn.com

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