Justin Bieber’s initiation process for the Wild Kidz Club is more involved than I thought, but I guess it takes a lot to impress President Bart Simpson, Vice President Dennis the Menace, and Treasurer Latarian Milton. Pretending to smoke Popeye candy cigarettes isn’t going to cut it; you gotta grow out a teen ‘stache, spray paint a swear, and egg a house before you’re allowed to roll with the big dawgz.
Since Justin Bieber is convinced he’s the real-life version of Angry Boys, it should come as no surprise that TMZ is reporting The Tantrum Toddler spent last night whipping eggs at his neighbor’s house:
TMZ spoke to the neighbor who says he heard something banging against his house in Calabasas around 7:30 PM Thursday, and when he stepped on to a 2nd floor balcony … he says he saw Justin down below hurling eggs at his front door.
According to the neighbor … Bieber started aiming for him once he stepped onto the balcony and yelled, “What the Hell are you doing?”
Justin and the neighbor — who’ve had previous run-ins — also got into a verbal dispute while JB allegedly continued tossing a few more eggs at the house … and then retreated back to his home.
The hardcore egg felony was also caught on tape; the video doesn’t show Justin Bieber actually egging the house, but it doesn’t matter – I think we can all imagine what Justin Bieber looks like when he’s egging a house (basically this, but with more giggling).
Slow claps to the homeowner comes out and starts calling Baby Bieber a bitch and a mother fucker so many times and with such passion, it’s like he’s singing the Dlisted National Anthem. And a gold star goes to his daughter, who made me legitimately laugh she called the police and said “I’d like to place an assault”. She’s not wrong. I’d also like to place an assault on Justin Bieber, but I’ll pass, because I don’t want a child abuse charge on my criminal record (although I get the feeling that a reasonable jury would never convict me of my crimes).
(Pics via TMZ)