Open Post: Hosted By A Fiberglass Mannequin

January 9, 2014 / Posted by:

Hiring someone to Photoshop Nicole Kidman for your ad campaign is like waving a peen at my face and asking me if I want to lick it. It’s unnecessary, it’s a waste of everyone’s time and it’s pretty damn insulting. Waving a peen at my face and asking me if I want to lick it is unnecessary, because you should already know that my desperate slut ass isn’t going to say no. Hiring someone to Photoshop Nicole Kidman for your ad campaign is unnecessary, because the bitch doesn’t need it. Nicole Kidman has zero pores to blur and she already looks like a department store mannequin who temporarily turned into a human, because she’s on mannequin sabbatical.

But Jimmy Choo went ahead and ran her pictures through Photoshop several hundred times anyway. They also achieved the impossible by making Nicole Kidman look even more like a wax alien than she already does.

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