Afternoon Crumbs

Mama June and her family of deep fried butterlings were in a car accident! Dip your fingers in sketti sauce, make the sign of the cross on your body and pray for America’s First Family! – ICYDK

Charlize Theron is still suffering from that neurological injury that’s keeping her brain from letting her know that fucking Sean Penn on the regular is the worst idea ever – Lainey Gossip 

Lindsay Lohan won an award, and no it wasn’t Crackhead of the Year. She lost that one to her mother again! – The Berry

Everybody looked like a mess at the Girls premiere – Jezebel

Cameron Diaz talks about her face – Celebitchy

Backdoor Farrah’s fake boyfriend had a real girlfriend who didn’t want him to be Backdoor Farrah’s fake boyfriend – The Superficial

Lily Tomlin and her partner of a million years were New Year’s Eve brides – Towleroad

Maxim named Eva Longoria their “Woman of the Year” and I’m guessing the year they’re talking about is 2006 – Hollywood Tuna

RiRi and Cara Delevingne went to a basketball game together and what’s really weird about these pictures is that RiRi isn’t holding a drank or a joint in any of them. That might be the first time in RiRi history that’s ever happened… – Drunken Stepfather

Nobody wants to eat at restaurants that have been tainted by the presence of The Real Trashwives of New Jersey – Reality Tea

Anne Hathaway is giving me hippie mid-wife on a commune – Popoholic

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! – HuffPo

Lindsey Vonn is out of the Olympics – CDAN

Prince William goes to his first day of school and I guess he forgot his Prince Hot Ginge lunchbox at home – Just Jared

Oh look, it’s a sports version of Toddlers & Tiaras to show us that showbiz parents aren’t the only ones vicariously living through their kids – Pajiba

I didn’t know Kanye West is also a movie critic who writes under the pen name Armond White – Popbytes

Sofia Vergara looks so hot here! – SOW

The graceful bat dance move at the very end turned this into ART – Videogum