Ke$ha Blames Dr. Luke For Her Trip To Rehab

January 5, 2014 / Posted by:

When Ke$ha first announced that she was trading in rolling on E-laced beards and piss for self-help books and group hugs in a rehab facility to treat an eating disorder, I thought: “Isn’t this the same trick who has enough self-esteem and confidence to leave the house looking like the Ice Capades fucked an Ultimate Warrior-obsessed parrot?” What I’m saying is, I couldn’t grasp the concept of Ke$ha waking up one morning, looking in the mirror, and thinking anything other than Hello, you beautiful damp trash monster. Something in the milk wasn’t clean (understatement when talking about Ke$ha).

According to TMZ, I was right! Ke$ha didn’t decide to become obsessed with her weight on her own; she was pressured into it by her music producer, Dr. Luke. Dr. Luke, forgetting that throwing Dr. in front of your name doesn’t give you the authority to start doling out medical advice, took notice of some extra chunk Ke$ha was carrying on the set of the music video for her song Die Young and allegedly referred to her as ‘a fucking refrigerator’. I need to know the context here. Was Dr. Luke using fuck as an adjective (a fucking refrigerator) or is he comparing Ke$ha to a refrigerator used not for storing cold foods but for engaging in intercourse, a la Marky Mark’s fucking chicken? I think he clearly meant that she looked to have the equivalent mass of a fridge. Either way, Dr. Luke is an asshole who deserves all the shade I’m throwing him from behind my laptop screen.

Currently, the only proof TMZ has that Dr. Luke (who sounds like a character on Passions – RIP) actually called Ke$ha a fucking refrigerator is this tweet, evidence which would only hold up in the court of law known as a parking lot fight, so he may not be a massive douche. However, I present to the parking lot jury of Dlisted this: Dr. Luke is also the producer of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines and Miley Cyrus’s Bangerz. If it walks like a douche and talks like a douche…

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