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January 5, 2014 / Posted by:

Dot Matrix Paper! 

If you grew up in the post-1980s, your brain is probably shitting out a thousand “Huh?s” and you’re probably thinking that Matrix paper is some kind of paper that Keanu Reeves was the face of in 1999. In the 80s, everyone used a dot matrix printer and some hos had that shit at their house. We didn’t have one, because we weren’t that fancy, but when we later got an inkjet printer, my mom brought home boxes upon boxes of dot matrix paper that she bought for cheap at some going-out-of-business sale. We had had enough dot matrix paper to keep several offices (circa 1984) fully stocked of the stuff all year long. Every time we needed to print something on our inkjet, we had to pull the edges off of the dot matrix paper. And next to fapping and eating Betty Crocker coconut pecan frosting out of the tub while completely stoned, there’s no greater pleasure than slowly pulling the edges off of dot matrix paper.

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