16-year-old Kylie Jenner posted this pic on Instagram on January 2nd with the caption “My monogamy it bothers you” and there is so, SO much to be bothered by. First, the combination of that pose with that outfit. If Kris Jenner hadn’t taken the form of Beezlebub when she first landed here on Earth, I’d be asking where the hell Kylie’s mother is, but we all know that’s a lost cause. Kris probably handled the wardrobe, makeup, hair, lighting, art direction and photography herself on this fuckery.
Second, what the hell does that caption even mean??!?? Did she really mean monogamy because the last time anybody checked, Thing 2 swore she was single and not playing 7 Minutes in Heaven with Jaden Smith or anybody else. Maybe she meant mahogany. Or Monopoly. Either way, I’m far more comfortable thinking that she’s talking about furniture or board games and that Kylie’s homeschooling is falling short in the vocabulary lesson department than I am thinking someone would actually be bothered by a teenage girl’s monogamy.
NOW GET OFF THE DAMN FLOOR, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON AND GET OFF MY LAWN, KYLIE!