Night Crumbs

Sean Penn and Charlize Theron might be doing it for real. I’m still waiting for the news that Charlize Theron was recently in an accident where she lost her damn mind, brain and the ability to make good decisions  – Lainey Gossip 

Ryan Seacrest holds a massive open call for beards in St. Barts – The Superficial

Okay, okay, but is that Droopy Dog Vicki from The Real Housewives of Orange County behind Simon Cowell? – Drunken Stepfather

Glum cunt is a glum cunt and fighting with his own family now – Celebitchy

Quentin Tarantino suddenly feels like an unaccomplished failure – IDLYITW

Florida should regularly drop liquid antibiotics from the sky anyway, but now they really should since a Kartrashian might infect them full-time – Reality Tea

Morrissey is writing a novel, which will probably be 400 pages of nothing but “death to the royal cunts” written over and over again – Towleroad

One of those Teen Moms is in a bikini – Hollywood Tuna

I won’t believe this until Khloe Kardashian is carrying a half Wookie, half human child on the cover of InTouch – CDAN

Maria Menounos’ ass in a bikini: here it is – Popoholic

Lacey Chabert got secret married to her sister?! – ICYDK

If you dropped a quarter or a few in the Kickstarter cup for the Veronica Mars movie, here’s what your money did – Pajiba

This is a surprising development to anybody who doesn’t know that everything in Backdoor Farrah’s life is about as fake as her chichis – Jezebel

Dolphins really do know how to party – OMG Blog

In related news, Lorde exploded from David Bowie throwing words of praise at her feet – HuffPo

I’m guessing this is exactly what a regular Kardashian bikini wax looks like – SOW

And the night was ruined when Adam Scott found out that The Hammaconda got out and ate all his popcorn – Just Jared