The shit streak on the drawers of humanity (aka Justin Bieber) and Selena Gomez were photographed yesterday riding Segways through his gated community (the rich kid version of a Big Wheels playdate) and I’m harboring some resentment that nobody thought to accidentally-on-purpose run his scrawny ass into the gutter or at the very least, get really close and honk the horn to see if he’d fall off the stupid thing.
When Selena suddenly canceled the Asia and Australia dates of her “Stars Dance” tour, it was blamed on everything from to lupus (it’s never lupus!) to Justin breaking her heart into a bajillion pieces. Despite Justin appearing to have zero redeeming qualities that would either make him good boyfriend material in the first place or worthy of a tenth chance, a source told HollywoodLife that these two co-dependent kids are spending time together again.
“Selena accepted his advances and invitations,” the source adds. “She should really watch out though, he is definitely interested in Selena but not for all the right and gentleman type reasons.”
“During the holidays, Justin played on the emotions they have for each other and worked them to his advantage because who wants to be alone during the holidays?” a source tells HollywoodLife.com exclusively.
Justin must have used up all his good lines in October when he went around South America asking various women if they’d like all his semen because playing the nobody-wants-to-be-lonely-around-the-holidays card rates a D+ at best in the smooth moves department. Selena needs to take Katy Perry’s “Unconditionally” off repeat, execute a flawless turnt up wheelie in her Barbie jeep and give Justin the finger before she finds herself dumped on her ass by the toddler Lady Killah by Valentine’s Day.
Here are some more pics of Justin and Selena on their bizarre Segway date, complete with a chaperone and what I’m going to guess is Justin’s mom riding alongside in the SUV to hand out juice boxes and goldfish crackers when it’s snack time.