Today’s Definition Of Random: Stevie Nicks Officiated Vanessa Carlton’s Wedding

December 29, 2013 / Posted by:

Well if this isn’t the most Wait, What? story to come out of left field, then I don’t know what is. Then again, the day is young and we haven’t checked in with Florida yet, so we still have time for a story about a guy named Tarvis who was arrested for cooking meth with an alligator in a Waffle House. But for now, let’s all enjoy how weird it is that Stevie Nicks is officiating weddings, shall we?

On Friday, Vanessa Carton, aka the girl who sings that song from your favourite scene in White Chicks, married lead singer and guitarist for Deer Tick (I think I just got Lyme disease from that name) John McCauley, and uploaded a picture of the ceremony to Instagram with the caption:

“Thanks Stevie for marrying us!”

Thanks Stevie?! Show some respect, Michelle Branch Vanessa Carlton; that’s Miss Stevie Gypsy Goddess Rhiaaaaaanon Crazy Nicks to you. No other information was given as to how these two know each other, but it doesn’t take a genius to guess that they probably worked together years ago and they’re still friends bla bla bla.

However, it’s more fun to believe that Stevie Nicks is moonlighting as an ordained minister and is performing wedding ceremonies in her spare time. I bet she’s got a great Craigslist ad. Actually, one time I had a job where I did research for people (the stories I could tell, good lord) and I was asked to find a non-denominational wedding officiant for someone. I found this wedding officiant database and all of their descriptions were the exact same: “I arrive to your wedding wearing a clean pantsuit and tasteful makeup”. Which always got me thinking: Is this a problem in the wedding officiant community? Were people arriving in zip-off cargo shorts and Lil Kim makeup? And if so, where are these people located and are they available to officiate my trashy future wedding?

(Pic via Instagram)

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