Here’s Robert Irvine, the star of Food Network’s Restaurant: Impossible, strolling in Hawaii with his wife yesterday and she must get waxing and shaving lessons from him, because he’s smoother than a Sphynx cat’s pussy. He looks like a cross between Stretch Armstrong’s daddy (you decide which kind of daddy I’m talking about) and a fully plucked Foghorn Leghorn. Don’t you just want to smear herb butter all over his chest and bite into it? And DUH, I’d hit it. He’s so long, hairless and slippery-looking that afterward, I’d smear oil all over his body and slide across him like a Slip ‘n Slide. Weeeee!