Open Post: Hosted By Simon Cowell’s Supple Fur Tits

December 27, 2013 / Posted by:

Here’s Simon Cowell and his friend’s wife turned fuck time partner turned mother of his child Lauren Somethingoranother strolling on a beach in Barbados yesterday. We live in a cynical world, but I bet that you become a believer in magic and natural beauty when you watch the sea breezes dance along Simon’s furry chichis as his hairy nipple slits pucker from breathing in the salty air. It’s probably as breathtaking and heartwarming as watching bear cubs snuggling with each other during a nap.

I can’t totally hate on that Lauren trick, because she deserves an important place in the Gold Digging Hall of Fame for making the impossible possible by getting knocked up with Simon’s baby. But I can hate her a little for not taking advantage of those luscious mounds of fur next to her. If I was her, I’d have carpet burns all over my face, because I’d be motorboating day and night.

Pics: Splash

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