First place goes to ImpertinentVixen!
12 peens a’ poppin’
11 dicks a’ growin’
10 wangs a showin.
9 cocks a’ crowin’
8 pricks a’pulsing
7 weiners waggling
6 boners bulging
Fiiiiivvvvee cock rings
4 trouser snakes
AND A CHOCOLATE SANTA PEEEENISS FOR ME!!! – ImpertinentVixen
And second place goes to BannanaKarenina!
Tom Cruise’s Christmas wish of “death by chocolate” suddenly makes a lot more sense. – BannanaKarenina
Thanks to everyone who submitted a caption! IV and BK will get an email from me today. And to all the runners-up, if you want to collect your prize of a drunken handy from me, meet me under the 10 freeway overpass on Vermont in Downtown L.A. I’ll be the one who is being dragged away by the CDC.
(Here’s the original note I burped up about the CT contest on December 23rd: This will probably be the last CT Contest of the year, so to say thank you to all of you have dropped a caption in 2013, the winner of this contest will get a $100 gift card to Amazon, iTunes or BoxOfButtPlugs.com (both Jennifer Lawrence and I wish that was a real site) and the second place winner will get a $50 gift card to one of those places. The runners-up will each get a drunken handy from me [value: -$650, because antibiotics, therapy and hypnosis sessions cost]. The winner will be announced on December 26th! Happy captioning!)
(Thanks to parissucksliterally, Sweetas and everybody who sent this in!)