Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 26, 2013 / Posted by:

Cathy Mitchell, the queen of infomercial kitchen products and the face of the fine gourmet cookbook DUMP CAKES!

While in a See’s Candies, gin and Andre-induced waking coma yesterday, I had one eye in the sleep position and another eye on the TV when a big, beautiful ginger ball of manufactured sunshine shat up on my screen. It was like the sun took a dump in my eye. I opened both of my eyes right away, because I thought it was Bonnie Brindle from Small Wonder and when any trick from Small Wonder appears on your TV screen, you open both eyes and pay attention. But it was the Julia Child of our time Cathy Mitchell whoring out some cookbook called Dump Cakes.

I’ve heard of dump cakes before, but I didn’t know they were called “dump cakes” and nobody dumps out a cake like Cathy Mitchell. To make a dump cake, all you have to do is dump frozen fruit, cake mix and a can of soda (or use diet soda for a LIGHTER version) into a pan and bake that shit. You’ll have a cake that’ll make your friends and family ask, “Are you hiding an award-winning French pastry chef in there?”, while they’re really thinking to themselves, “If Betty Crocker took a caca in a pan and baked it, it would look better than this nasty shit.”

Feast your eyes on Cathy Mitchell’s trailer trash culinary artistry:

After one bite of Cathy Mitchell’s dump cake, you’ll shit out a four-laker dump cake right into your toilet. It’s so easy that even drunk ass Sandra Lee could do it….with help from a sous chef, cue cards and several producers!

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