Ruh Roh: Mariah Carey Maybe Kinda Performed For A Dictator Again

It’s 2011 all over again! These fucks need to learn that you have to do some research before you agree to perform in a country that you can’t even pick out on the Carmen Sandiego map. You know why I’ve never eaten at Del Taco or Yoshinoya? Because I do my research by Yelping that shit first; and when the first three reviews that come up sound like the strained moans of a haunted spirit, I know to stay away, no matter how good a deal $0.59 tacos sound. Celebrities need to start Yelping countries before they go to them to make sure they aren’t getting down with shady shit. Case in point…

According to The Guardian, on December 16th Mimi flew to Luanda (Hank Hill’s niece if she were from Houston instead of Arlen) to perform at a gala held to benefit the Angola Red Cross in exchange for $1M. As it turns out, Mariah’s paycheque can only be cashed at the Bank of Blood Money, because the gala was held by a father-daughter dictatorship duo:

Platina Line, a local entertainment website, published numerous photos from the events, showing Carey singing in a bikini top and a Santa Claus dress, as well as posing with Isabel dos Santos, president of the Angola Red Cross, and Dos Santos’s father, José Eduardo dos Santos.

But as the Human Rights Foundation has since pointed out, José Eduardo dos Santos is not just the parent of a minor African diplomat: he is Angola’s president, an autocrat who has governed the country since 1979. Isabel dos Santos – nicknamed “the princess” – is Africa’s richest woman and also a co-owner of Unitel. After studying in London, Isabel amassed a fortune of more than €1bn (£835,000) – in part, critics say, from the fruits of government corruption. Meanwhile, the majority of Angolans live on less than $2 a day.

The article also mentions the total raised for the Angola Red Cross that night. Drumroll please…$65,000! Spending $1M to make $65,000?  Now, I’m no bueno at math, but something in the milk ain’t clean here.

I know a cheque is a cheque, but Mimi is taking whatever is thrown at her without realizing it could be soaked in the tears of oppression (I’m so deep). All she has to do is call up any human rights organization and ask for the 411 on a certain country and they’ll give you the thumbs up or the thumbs down, and she can collect that cash. You can’t do this alone, Mimi! You’re not smart enough to make these decisions! Fuck, you’re barely smart enough to make good decisions when it comes to what you’ll wear on stage.

(Pic via Facebook)