Pardon My Lady Boner

December 21, 2013 / Posted by:

Did somebody say All You Can Eat Pepaw Buffet?? Well let me tuck a paper napkin into my collar and grab a handful of wet-naps, cause I’m boarding the train to Shameville. Toot toot! All aboard, and leave your dignity at the door! Wait…I think I just mixed up a restaurant analogy with a train analogy. Oh who cares, it’s Jack Nicholson grossly ripping through a chill dog at last nights Lakers vs. Timberwolves game and – sorry not sorry – but guess what? I WOULD.

I don’t care how many of you set your judging’ eyes on me for this, but I love Jack Nicholson and I don’t care that he’s old as Moses and bloated like a water-logged pool noodle. I still think he’s charming in an inappropriate Oscar-winning whiskey-drunk hippo kind of way. Which is a roundabout way of saying that I’d let him get balls deep and call me a hot sandwich if he wanted to. And all the haters can step to the left, but the rest can join the club; it’s weird and sometimes you’ll feel bad for your parents, but we have Baileys and pizza bagel bites and you don’t have to wear pants.

Here’s more of Jack at the Lakers game chowing down on a chill dog (I’m sure there’s a gross Urban Dictionary entry for that, but I don’t have the stomach for it right now) along with a palate cleanser in the form of Zac Efron (I heard he’s more of a corn dog kinda guy).

(Pics via Splash, Wenn)

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