Juicy Joe and his partner in grifting, Teresa Giudice, are probably going to prison and the stashes of cash they keep in their mattresses are dwindling as they continue to live beyond their means, but they still managed to burp out an exquisitely designed holiday card starring their entire family. The graphic artist who created this beautiful piece of art is the Michael Angelo (Michael Angelo is Michelangelo’s third cousin twice removed whose finest work now hangs in the dinging room at the Olive Garden in Syracuse) of graphic artists. Those hating whores at The Daily Mail called the Giudice’s gorgeous card “cheap-looking.” What do they know about HIGH ART?
Everybody in and around Calabasas, CA better put on their oxygen masks, because Pimp Mama Kris will be queefing out green clouds of jealousy non-stop after seeing this card. The Giudice’s holiday card makes the Kartrashian’s Khristmas Kard look like a sloppily put together flyer for a torture club in the 9th Circle. Actually, the Kartrashian Khristmas Kard looks like that anyway.
Teresa nearly made me laugh up my internal organs when she tweeted out this note with the other half of their card:
Here’s the rest of our Christmas card this year. We went to an actual poinsettia farm! Xx
Since Teresa has gorilla shit for brains and can’t stop pulling schemes, I thought she was trying to fool us again. But then she tweeted a link to her site that has pictures and video of them at the farm. They actually shot this glorious mess at a poinsettia farm. Doesn’t Teresa know that she didn’t have to go all the way to a farm for this? She just had to go to her local Olan Mills and ask for the poinsettia background.