Afternoon Crumbs

December 20, 2013 / Posted by:

Gay couples in Utah (UTAH!!!) are getting married today after a judge ruled the ban on same-sex marriages is unconstitutional. YES! Finally, gay and gayelle mormons can marry their pieces! Oh, wait… – Buzzfeed

Selena Gomez canceled a bunch of tour dates, because she’s been around the world, but she’s never been to her. I’m going to take that to mean that bitches didn’t buy tickets to her show or the realization that she once licked on Justin Bieber’s taint finally hit her hard and she needs to check into a mental health facility to deal with that disturbing fact – Lainey Gossip

Dear Ellen DeGeneres, I can take your awkward dancing, but please for the love of Mandy Rogers stop dressing like a 4-year-old ring bearer who insisted on wearing sneakers because the fancy shoes hurt his feetsies too much – Towleroad

Nothing says “I’m rich, you poor peasants” like not wearing a coat in NYC in the middle of December. Ask Miranda KerrDrunken Stepfather

Highgella Lawson’s old assistants were acquitted of fraud and her ass sore of an ex-husband is probably shrugging, because he already got what he wanted (aka dragging her in public) – Celebitchy

They should pump up the head of Selena Gomez’s wax figure to three times the size and then it’ll look just like her - Hollywood Tuna

When are we going to get to the part where Lisa Vanderpump finds out that Giggy has actually been dead for a couple of years now - Reality Tea

In case you missed the trailer for the movie that’ll get Kate Upton’s tits their first Oscar – The Superficial

Ireland Baldwin is trying to bring the sex but looks like she’s concentrating hard while pushing out a butt burp – IDLYITW

BABYKINS?!!!!!!?????!!! – Jezebel

Salma Hayek covered up her world-saving chichis – Popoholic

If you didn’t think Kate Upton and Maks Douchecoockski would last longer than a quick minute, then rub your taint something extra, because you were right – ICYDK

But when is Ariana Grande Latte splitting with that ponytail tie? - Just Jared

Adele got a fancy British award from Prince CharlesThe Berry

Shia LaDouche’s command key continues to work harder than he does – Popbytes

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