Panty Creamer Of The Day: Hugh Jackman On Bondi Beach

December 18, 2013 / Posted by:

The shitty, shitty news (for me) is that I didn’t even come close to winning third place in MegaMillions, so I am not typing this post on a yellow diamond-encrusted MacBook Air on a bed stuffed with Prince Hot Ginge’s beard and pube hairs as a topless Anderson Cooper look-alike feeds me a rare Hostess Vanilla Pudding Pie. The good news for all of us who actually bought a ticket even though there’s a bigger chance of The Difficult Brown going to jail than us winning, the universe gave us a consolation prize: Hugh JackMeOff’s hairy nipples! It’s always a good day when my eyes land on Hugh’s torso fur, because it’s kind of shaped like a pencil dick with a mushroom head.

And does anybody have Duck Dynasty Phil’s P.O. Box address, because I really want to send him my holiday card, which is a picture of Hugh diving into a sea of man anuses.

Pics: Splash

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