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December 18, 2013 / Posted by:

Hostess Vanilla Pudding Pie!

Long before the Hostess blackout of 2012 crippled the country and nearly cost us our national food, Twinkies, Hostess made hos do the slow wall slide of NOOOOOO when they discontinued Hostess Vanilla Pudding Pies (I’m not talking about chocolate, I’m talking about VANILLA). I don’t know when this happened and I’m a little disappointed in myself that I didn’t scream through the supermarkets when it happened. But last night, I had a dream where a Vanilla Pudding Pie made an appearance. Yes, I had a dream about pie. Kirstie Alley and I must share the same dream channel.

The Hostess Vanilla Pudding Pie was a slice of gross mixed with a slice of heaven. Sometimes when I bit into one, I didn’t know whether I wanted to barf or swallow. Sometimes I couldn’t believe that gross mess was in my mouth and the next minute I’d want to deep throat my way to diabetes. It was just pure, sticky messiness and I’m sure many sucio, pie-fucking bitches lost their virginity in it.

Here’s the commercial for that mess.

That commercial really isn’t right. The Hostess Vanilla Pudding Pie really deserved better. Or did it? I don’t know, but I do know that I really want to hate eat one again.

(via Tumblr)

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