What A Stunning Wax Candle And A Delicious Barbecued Spare Rib

December 17, 2013 / Posted by:

Together, they look like what’s on the table during a romantic dinner at a Korean BBQ restaurant.

At last night’s premiere of Grudge Match in NYC, pristine white taper candle Kim Basinger posed next to her co-star, piping hot piece of cajun-rubbed pork jerky Sylvester Stallone, and it’s a miracle that the heat wafting off of his just-out-of-the-oven face didn’t melt her into a puddle of Botox, wax and sad memories of being married to Alec Baldwin. Maybe it’s because I’m a skinny fat fuck who is always thinking about shoving dough, cheese and meat into his mouth (there’s an uncut dick joke in there somewhere), but she looks like a piece of uncooked dough and he looks like a sun dried tomato-stuffed pepperoni meatball. So together they’re like a deconstructed Totino’s pizza roll without the sauce. Delicioso!

Here’s more of Porcelain Basinger and Overcooked Terracotta Stallone with Robert DeNiro at last night’s premiere. Slay me with those brows, Sly!

Pics: Splash

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