Since a Kardashian isn’t officially a Kardashian until she’s been dipped in a pot of wax, covered in strips and ripped of every hair on her body, some accused Kim Kartrashian of taking a tip from Backdoor Farrah’s “How To Be A Shit Mom” parenting book by waxing North West’s brows. After Kim Instagrammed this picture of Baby North yesterday, some accused her of Veet-ing her adorable future money maker’s eye valances. But Kim’s spokeswhore tells The Daily Mail that wax hasn’t touched North’s brows and her perfectly manicured eyebrows are a work of nature.
Kim is a lying skank and if she told me the sky was blue, I’d have to check with Pantone color swatches before believing her, but I actually think she’s spitting out the truth here. Mark this day! Yes,
Baby Seaweed Baby Nori will inherit Pimp Mama Kris and Kim’s fucked up body issues, but I don’t think they used wax to elevate that baby’s eyebrow game. They used the other Kartrashian beauty tool of choice: PHOTOSHOP!
And I’m surprised that North even has eyebrow hair and eyelashes. It’s a miracle that they didn’t burn off from Kanye West constantly fire breathing out the words, “Guess who’s the luckiest baby in the world for having God’s God as a father?” onto her face. I’m also surprised that North is smiling. In every picture I’ve seen of North West, she looks like she’s in the middle of saying, “HELP ME,” in Morse code by blinking her eyes. I wonder how they got her to smile? They probably waved emancipation papers in front of her face. Pimp Mama Kris is a cruel genius.
And here’s Kim, the slow one and Penelope leaving a cosmetic laser center yesterday. No, of course they weren’t there to laser off Penelope’s brows hair. They’re not monsters! They were there to get all the whispers of hairs lasered off of Penelope’s body. It’s never too soon to prepare your baby for bikini season!