In news that makes me want to scream, “RUUUUUN, BLANKET, RUUUUN, LET THE WIND CARRY YOU AWAY,” Joe Jackson’s pimp hand starts to get the tingles in a trailer for a new documentary about Michael Jackson. The documentary titled Remembering Michael (working title: Remember Who Pays Our Bills, Still) is being put together by Katherine Jackson and she’s looking to raise $3.2 million to finish it. Katherine says she’s releasing it as a tribute to Michael and she’s also releasing it because the Jacksons love MOOOONAAAAY.
Michael already got a tribute tour, tribute greatest hits CD, tribute reality show, tribute this, tribute that and I’m sure he’ll soon get a tribute wig line, tribute makeup line and tribute Jesus Juice line. So the trailer for this tribute documentary made me shrug and let out an “eh” until I saw that Satanic twinkle in Joe Jackson’s eyes as he talked about “training” Blanket Jackson to be the next Jackson money maker. Here’s the words that should cause Bubbles to snatch up Blanket and put that child in the Jackson Protection Program.
“They also say that there will never be a Michael Jackson. And I say that we already have one, but he just has to be trained. That kid is the spitting image of Michael when Michael was smaller.”
Blanket Jackson doesn’t really look like a young Michael Jackson to me, but then I tried to look at them both through Joe Jackson’s pimp eyes. When MJ was young, Joe Jackson saw him as a sparkly gold dollar sign and when he looks at Blanket he probably sees the same thing. So yeah, they do look exactly alike through Joe Jackson’s eyes! Joe Jackson may be a shady fart out of Lucifer’s ass, but he didn’t lie there.
And I hope that when Joe Jackson raises his pimp hand and commands Blanket to do the moonwalk, Blanket rolls his eyes, flips his luscious mane and says, “Nice try, girl, but I’m going to be a hair model. Good day.”
Here’s the trailer if you really need to heat Blanket Jackson speak and see Joe Jackson’s grizzled old bulldog face in motion.