Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 16, 2013 / Posted by:

The sex toy Christmas tree from Milan!

My drunk ass was falling into a vodka-induced sleep coma while watching Saturday Night Live over the weekend when my ears got moist and I got the full-body tingles when I heard the words: SEX TOY CHRISTMAS TREE! During Weekend Update, they made fun of the glorious, beautiful and fuck-able Christmas tree that used to stand tall and erect in downtown Milan, Italy until some orgasm-hating whores demanded that it be taken down because…children.

The NYDN says that Italian sex toy website¬†MySecretCase decorated a Christmas tree with a bunch of fancy and exquisite vibrators and dildos, because the store owner Norma Rossetti wanted people to see the clit tinglers as normal, everyday items that shouldn’t be hid in the back a bottom drawer. Norma says she chose vibrators that were elegant and didn’t look like rubber dicks. But bitches still complained and officials ordered Norma to take the fuck toys off of the tree. Norma did what they said, but started a petition to save the tree.

Two things: I was a little disappointed when I Googled “Milan sex toy Christmas tree” after watching SNL, because I expected to see a tree made of double-sided dildos and decorated with anal bead garland and a rubber pussy topper. But I guess if I want to see a tree like that I just have to visit the Scientology Celebrity Centre any day of the week. Also, sluts in Milan must have serious restraint, because if that tree was in NYC or L.A., those expensive ass vibrators would be snatched up in more ways than one. Hos would either steal those vibrators or fuck ’em right on the tree.

Save the sex toy Clitmas tree!

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