Bitch’s Probation Got Revoked: The Difficult Brown Edition

December 16, 2013 / Posted by:

The Difficult Brown got a day pass from terrorizing people in rehab to go to court and to hear a judge tell him that his probation is revoked. I wished that the judge also revoked that hair color and those glasses, because nobody should go around looking they’re what came out of Sisqo’s butt 9 months after a book worm on meth dropped a raw jizz load in there.

Chris Brown was on probation for beating RiRi, but since he can’t go that long without letting his fist fly, he got arrested in DC in October for getting violent on another dude. E! News says that after L.A. Superior Court Judge James Brandlin reviewed that case, he decided that Chris did break some laws (along with another dude’s nose) and violated his probation. If you or I violated our probation by busting a ho’s face, we’d immediately be tasered and thrown into a small cell with a cholo who sang Linda Ronstadt songs all the time. (My mom worked with a woman whose cholo husband went to prison for grand theft somethingoranother and he used to write letters to Linda Ronstadt all the time. The only way prison would be tolerable is if my cholo roommate serenaded me with “Hay unos ojos” every night.) Anyway, but since Chris Brown is a rich celebrity and is ten stories above the law the judge didn’t send him to prison. Chris didn’t go to prison, because he’s already in court-ordered rehab.

The judge actually patted Chris Brown on the taint for doing well in anger management rehab and told him to keep doing what he’s doing. Chris has to keep doing 24 hours of community service a week and he can swallow his meds, but he can’t swallow any weed smoke, even the medical kind (isn’t it all medical?). Chris can only leave CA to go to a hearing in DC and he’ll have to show his face in court on February 10th for another probation hearing. Once Chris is done with rehab, the judge could send him to jail for messing up his probation.

Chris Brown isn’t going to jail in February and he’s never going to jail ever. The day the Difficult Brown goes to jail for longer than 8 seconds is the day that my tail bone grows into an extra long, always hard bendy dick. So what I’m saying is that I REALLY hope he goes to jail for longer than 8 seconds.

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