Harpo, Who Dis Baby?

December 15, 2013 / Posted by:

If you’re still wondering what to get for the “this-close-to-being-a-hoarder-about-it” doll lover in your life or that asshole in your family you’re willing to spend any amount of money on to creep the fuck out, may I present this exquisite, albeit confusing doll of Prince George. Created by artist Fiorenza Biancheri, the doll retails for $149.99, is 20 inches long with a 30-inch replica of the royal christening gown and looks absolutely nothing like George.

Prince George

The Bradford Exchange (via E! News) doesn’t seem concerned that the doll is an exact replica of HRH Prince You Tried.

According to the website, “each realistic detail of this gorgeous royal Prince royal baby doll is exquisitely hand-painted to perfectly highlight his delicate features.”

Strong demand is anticipated for this royal baby doll, so don’t delay,” reads the Bradford Exchange site. “Order now!”

Of course there will be high demand! Marie Osmond has most likely pre-ordered one for every member of her family and that is a lot of fucking dolls. I’m waiting for a Groupon to get Michael K one because he already said he thinks the eyebrows are beauteous. That really goes without saying, given the artist obviously took them straight from any Google image of Pam Anderson.

If the Bradford Exchange had any sense, they would have let Daniel Edwards, sculptor of the (NSFW-ish) Katherine-Heigl-as-Britney birth statue handle the Prince George doll. It still wouldn’t have looked a damn thing like George, but at least there is a strong possibility Daniel would have at least thrown pics of Prince William and Duchess Kate into one of those virtual “What Will Your Baby Look Like” sites. The doll then would at least have Will’s nose and his mother’s gray hair instead of his mother’s original nose and his father’s hair.

(Pic: The Bradford Exchange)

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