You’re going to want to still be drunk from last night or in a really good place with yourself mentally and emotionally before you watch Courtney Stodden at the first annual WOWie Awards. The last thing we need is everyone racing off, green with envy to book a consult with Dr. Michael Niccole. This was her first public appearance since splitting with Dough Hutchinson and who needs Beyonce’s 394-track feminist power album that even this guy downloaded when Courtney is around to show us all how to move on from a relationship in a healthy, well-adjusted manner? Nothing screams “I’m happy and getting back to me” quite like showing up in public with boobs that clearly don’t want to be seen with each other and a tangled mess of hair (???) that looks like it was dug out of the 10 for $10 bin of extensions at a flea market.
Once you get past the visual assault and the appearances by
Tina Yothers Courtney’s mom and the second runner up in an Adam Lambert lookalike contest, go back a second time and just watch Courtney’s mouth open and close rhythmically as she moves along, eyesexing the cameras. It’s oddly soothing, kind of like watching fish in an aquarium.