Just Jared got the first EXCLUSIVO pictures of 39-year-old screenwriting chickenhawk Dustin Lance Black and his 19-year-old diving pedacito Tom Daley hanging out together as a couple. Twinkie Tom is currently training for the 2016 Olympics in Houston, Texas and DLB was with him as he left the University of Houston diving center yesterday. These pictures are about as natural and candid as Kim Kardashian’s entire life. I’m not being sarcastic (yes, that’s possible, I think) when I say that I am so happy that a gay couple has starred in a totally staged photo-op that required rehearsals, a stage manager, a team of stylists, a body language coach, craft services, stage tape for marking, a few teamsters, stand-ins, a lighting crew, a couple of drones and a cinematographer. I think Tom Daley got his SAG card from this photo shoot. This photo shoot had a bigger budget than DLB’s last movie.
A gay couple is finally showing LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian and Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt how a choreographed photo-op is really done. Tom and DLB kept it simple, coordinated their ensembles and gave us a Photoshop-able picture of DLB sucking on Tom’s straw. We really have come so far!
With all that being said, this photo shoot only gets a B+ from me. I cannot give it an A because of two words: iPhone prints. Those iPhone prints look like brick-shaped leg tumors. Peen prints in a photo-op are always okay, but iPhone prints in a photo-op are NEVER okay