Seen above looking like a cross-eyed, lame horse trying to sneeze and push out a hard turd at the same time, LeAnn Rimes tells Entertainment Tonight that during her tribute to Patsy Cline at the American Country Awards last night, she thought about wet humping to keep the tears coming out. Well, since Brandi Glanville is getting attention for saying that black people can’t swim, LeAnn had to do something to also get a little attention. So it was either pose for the paps in a confederate flag bikini at a KKK rally or say this shit:
“It was intense. … And about halfway through Crazy, you see people start to cry and then you’re like, ‘oh my God.’ My guitar player, he’s always giving me the tricks that work — always think about sex when you start to cry — and I was thinking about sex a lot throughout the whole thing. … By the end of it, it was just such an emotional moment for me.”
That’s funny, because while she was singing “Crazy” and thinking about sex, Eddie Cibrian was thinking about sex too! Yes, he was thinking about having sex with someone other than her, but he was still thinking about sex.
That’s a good trick, though, and it might work for everybody. The next time tears are about to squirt out of your eye holes and you don’t want them to, think about LeAnn Rimes fucking (SPOILER ALERT: That’s her O face above). There’s a 50/50 shot that trick will work. It’ll either make all your orifices and eye sockets dry up real quick or you’ll cry even more.
(Pic via AP)