In L.A. last night, the second largest gathering of Internet-famous pussy (the first being, the Brazzers holiday party) happened when Grumpy Cat, Colonel Meow, Oskar the Blind Cat, Nala Cat and Hamilton the Hipster Cat got together for charity. I hear that Lil Bub was supposed to appear but contract negotiations broke down, when the organizers refused to give her top billing, her own personal litter box and a wardrobe stipend.
All of these pussies look like they’d rather be tongue boning a Cockapoo than posing for a bunch of photographers, but they did it for charity and they mostly did it because they had no choice. When your human picks you up and drags you somewhere, you can either try to scratch their eyeballs out or you can roll your eyes while farting on their arm. They all went with the latter because the former takes way too much energy.
All these famous pussies went to the launch party, hosted by Angela Kinsey, for the Christmas video they star in for Friskies. Friskies put out a video called “Hard to Be a Cat at Christmas” and they promise they will donate 1 can of Friskies to a shelter and rescue organization for every view. But they’re only counting up to 500,000 views. Cheap fucks.
It is hard out there for a pussy during Christmas times. But you know who’s got it harder at Christmas? Human bitches who have to put their tree back together after a crazed pussy knocks it down.
And this video is incomplete without Spaghetti Cat (Never EVER 4get).