Kristen Stewart Is The Sour Face Of Chanel’s Paris-Dallas Collection

December 11, 2013 / Posted by:

Linda Grey as Sue Ellen Ewing
Charlene Tilton as Lucy Ewing
Willie Nelson
Barney Bush’s ghost
Chase from The A-List Dallas
Basement Baby
Gary Busey’s teeth
Shelley Duvall
Papa Joe Simpson
Brian Griffin
A chewed-up piece of deep fried butter

Those are all beauties who are either from Texas or affiliated with the state of Texas in some way and any one of them would be a better choice for the face of Chanel’s Paris-Dallas collection than emo-faced Kirsten Stewart. Kunty Karl debuted his Texas-inspired métiers d’art collection (whatever that means) at Dallas Fair Park last night and he also announced that his new muse is as dead inside as he is. Kunty Karl needs to switch the brand of children’s hair he’s smoking, because his new shit is obviously doing crazy things to his zombie brains. Okay, okay, maybe Kunty Karl chose Kristen Stewart, because she makes him look alive in comparison. And judging by the crap she wore to the show in Dallas last night, I think he might hate her more than he hates a fat, ugly  baby who eats food.


That is the fanciest and ugliest period outfit I’ve ever seen. It’s giving me cramps in my eyeballs. This is some Orange is the New Barf shit. It’s like a cross between a leather prison jumpsuit (they wear that at the Kanye West State Penitentiary), a pair of RUN-DMC’s old pants and an orange biohazard waste trash bag.

And now that I think about it and have seen the tacky, ugly hoedown wear from the collection, I can’t wait to hate on this campaign when it comes out next year. Keep on trolling, Kunty Karl!

(Pic via Getty)

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