NBC Set To Ruin…I Mean…Remake Rosemary’s Baby

December 10, 2013 / Posted by:

Hold the phone – NBC is going to take an R-rated horror film, water it down for primetime audiences by taking out all the screaming, boobies, blood, sex scenes with Satan, and extending the running time to 4 hours? WOW, SIGN ME UP!!

You should probably call up your doctor and ask to them replace all the Ativan you took during The Sound of Music Live, because Deadline is reporting that NBC isn’t finished their desecration of classic films just yet. Attention Mia Farrow/60s cinema/horror fans; I’m about to bum you out hard enough to retreat to the couch and hate-eat an entire brick of cheese:

Rosemary’s Baby is a four-hour updated retelling of the bestselling novel by Ira Levin that was later adapted as a feature film about devil worship and the complex relationship between a young husband and wife. In the new version, the couple lives in Paris where this edge-of-your-seat thriller unfolds. Lionsgate is the production company. Scott Abbott (Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, Winchell) will serve as writer on Rosemary’s Baby. Executive producers are Joshua Maurer, David Stern, Perri Kipperman and Alix Witlin.

In addition to Rosemary’s Baby, NBC has also announced the development of two other miniseries: Stephen King’s Tommyknockers and Plymouth (about Pilgrims. Zzzzzz).

Hey, NBC? Can you step into my office for a second? Listen, have a seat. You seem to be making some pretty crappy decisions lately, and I’m concerned. Is everything ok? Choosing to remake a classic like Rosemary’s Baby tells me one of two things has happened: either you’ve suffered a major head injury or you’re smoking crystal meth. You can deny it all you want, but if you cast Katherine McPhee or Hayden Panettiere as Rosemary, I’m going to have to make you take a drug test. Look, I’ve seen it before; you’re on a slippery slope. Today it’s The Sound of Music and Rosemary’s Baby, but tomorrow it could be an all-The Voice cast remake of Citizen Kane. Nobody wants that, NBC. Okay, now get out of here and get working on another 30 Rock.

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