Hot Slut Of The Day!

SLUSH PUPPiE!

Slush Puppie is a delicious, diabetes-inducing ICEE that’s made up of ice and approximately 35,000 grams of flavored sugar. If real-life ice queen Nicole Kidman ate a whole lot of pineapple, her lady squirts would probably taste like a Slush Puppie. Anyway, Slush Puppie is the brand’s official mascot. I know, the dog mascot of a frozen summertime treat is a HSOTD in the middle of December. I’m so timely!

I thought about Slush Puppie this morning, because the news and my NY friends on AIM tell me that it’s snowing over there. During my first NYC blizzard, a friend and I were walking to the bar, and since I was a snow newbie and an 8-year-old stoner in the head, I said that it felt like we were trapped in a giant Slush Puppie machine. He said, “Yeah, if the flavors are Hobo Piss and Black Death.” So hearing that it’s snowing NYC made me sort of miss the days of almost breaking my ass bone on the sidewalk while trapped in a giant Hobo Piss Slush Puppie.

I think they still sell Slush Puppies at finer fast food restaurants and gourmet gas stations, so today I will put my parka over my tank top and coochie cutters, slip on my winter time flip-flops (they look like this), get into my car and brave the 60 degree temperatures to find a Slush Puppie. If I can’t find a Slush Puppie, I’ll just get a cup of ice and ask a hobo to piss in it. If I add about 500 packets of sugar to that cup of iced hobo piss, it’d be exactly like a Slush Puppie!