Last month, Tom Cruise compared his job to that of a soldier’s and got enough “fuck yous” to be able to have his custom lifts manufactured from them until Xenu returns. Skype Daddy Cruise must have taken a moment out of his very special relationship with Suri to reach out to Kanye West, because Radar says Bitchpleezus opened up his favorite hole and farted out his own version of the analogy.
“When I think about when I’m on the ‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing,’ and ‘Coldest Winter’ moment, like that mountain goes really, really high. And if I slipped… You never know. And I think about it. I think about my family and I’m like, wow, this is like being a police officer or something, or like a war or something. Like you’re literally going out to do your job every day you know, knowing something can happen to you… verbally from the press bashing you… you know, people not liking you anymore… you could actually slip on that stage.”
ACCURATE!!! Fighting in a war or spending your days on the streets chasing down crackheads is EXACTLY the same as the potential of a little whoopsiedoodle on stage! Inform the military that the Purple Heart is no longer for combat bravery- Kanye’s willingness to put himself on the line every day knowing he he could twist an ankle and leave Kimmy alone for an extra hour of selfie-taking while he runs to urgent care is the stuff heroes are made of.
I salute you, Mr. West and offer you this collaboratively architected medal of honor:
Here is a snippet of the interview where Kanye mentions war and goes on to say how he hopes his daughter will someday understand the hardships he and Kim have gone through. Bitch had better share his award with Kris Jenner because she built Kim from the toilet bowl up and it’s hard out there for a PMK! If you want to hear the entire interview, here is is, courtesy of SaturdayNightOnline.