Ben Affleck Wants The Paparazzi To Leave His Children Alooooooooooooooooone

December 9, 2013 / Posted by:

Three months ago, Jennifer Garner flew her ass up to Sacramento, CA with Halle Berry to push for a bill which would allow famous hos to press charges against any paparazzo who takes a picture of their kid without their permission. The bill passed and on the same day it passed, Pimp Mama Kris sent permission slips to every single paparazzo in L.A. and beyond! Ben Affleck is backing up his wife, duh, and tells Playboy that the paps constantly yell shit at his kids and have stalked them outside their schools. Ben hates the paparazzi as much 99% of humanity hates the idea of him as Batman. Ben spit up this shit during an interview with Playboy:

“You can say what you want about me. You can yell at me with a video camera and be TMZ. You can follow me around and take pictures all you want. I don’t care. There are a couple of guys outside right now. Terrific. That’s part of the deal. But it’s wrong and disgusting to follow children around and take their picture and sell it for money. It makes the kids less safe. They used to take pictures of our children coming out of preschool, and so this stalker who had threatened to kill me, my wife and our kids showed up at the school and got arrested. I mean, there are real practical dangers to this.”

Well, it’s good that Blake Lively is now married to Ryan Reynolds and has stopped getting all Alex Forrest on Ben by visiting his kids at school. No, Blake isn’t the stalker who visited his kids’ school. Ben goes on to explain how their stalker pretended to be a pap to get closer to them:

“He was in the pack of paparazzi. They didn’t know he was a guy who was threatening to murder our family. That makes me angry. It’s a safety thing, and there’s also a sanity thing. My kids aren’t celebrities. They never made that bargain. We were offered a lot of money to sell pictures of our kids when they were born. You’ll notice there aren’t any. I make no judgment about people who decide differently; a lot of them give the money to charity. For me it was a matter of principle. I didn’t want someone to be able to come back and say I was complicit, that it wasn’t a question of principle as much as price.”

And his ass went on:

“As their father it’s my job to protect them from that stuff. I try my very best, and sometimes I’m successful. The tragic thing is, people who see those pictures naturally think it’s sweet. They don’t see the gigantic former gang member with a huge lens standing over a four-year-old and screaming to get the kid’s attention. The kids are always looking down because they’re freaked out and scared of these people. And so they yell. Which is fine if you’re Lindsay Lohan coming out of a club, or me or any adult. With kids it’s tasteless at best. A lot of these photographs are being bought by legitimate magazines. In the U.K. they have a good system: If you take a kid’s picture, you have to blur out the face. It protects the privacy of children, any child. I wish we would do that here, though I don’t expect it.”

The next time a large crowd of screaming paps comes at Ben, he’ll probably notice that in the middle of that crowd is a bleached banshee spewing out a geyser of Jack Daniels and coke-infused saliva from her mouth as she rages at him. That’s just White Oprah who will be there to serve Ben Affleck with a defamation lawsuit for slandering Lindsay Lohan’s pristine reputation by saying that she comes out of clubs.

You know, whenever I go trolling for pictures in photo agency websites, I always find piles and piles of brand new pictures of Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck and their kids. Almost every day, there’s new sets of Ben Affleck or Jennifer Garner. It’s so weird. It’s like walking into a grocery store’s produce section and finding nothing but piles and piles of bland rutabaga. I did not know the demand for Ben Affleck’s ass was that high. It doesn’t make sense to me. I mean for every one picture of Angelyne, there’s at least 20 pictures of Ben Affleck and his family doing whatever. Why are the paparazzi spending their time with Ben Affleck’s basic ass when they could be taking pictures of more relevant and interesting subjects like Angelyne, Jocelyn Wildenstein or Phoebe Price? The paparazzi have got to do better! The next time Ben Affleck calls them and tells them that he’s at Bristol Farms with one of his kids, they need to ignore that Affleck call and follow the pink Corvette instead.

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