Afternoon Crumbs

December 9, 2013 / Posted by: Michael K

Lifetime Movie Queen and forever-Elyse-Keaton-to-me, Meredith Baxter, got married to her lady love over the weekend and I really hope one of their guests gave her bride a Supercuts gift certificate, because no newlywed lesbian should start her wedded life with Kate Gosselin hair – Queerty

I see that Miley Cyrus bought an Anna Wintour wig at a Halloween clearance sale at Ricky’s – Lainey Gossip

Susan Boyle has Asperger’s syndrome and I have a syndrome that makes me want to type “ass burger” every time I have to type Asperger – Celebitchy

Danny Noriega from American Idol is one of the competing queens on the next Drag Race and this is only good news if his exquisite cholita mother makes a cameo appearance – Towleroad

Crime boss Lindsay Lohan does a little Instagram modeling after ordering a hit on Wonky McValtrex’s little brother – Drunken Stepfather

The Jolly Green Ukrainian Giant and Little Sprout are spreading their enchanted forest love through Germany – IDLYITW

Sad news to all teen girls who want to bareback fuck a reality show contract into them: MTV canceled Teen Mom 3 – Reality Tea

Ceiling Eyes is still working the stroll – The Superficial

I just stared at Rose McGowan’s crotch for way too long while trying to guess whose face is on her snatch – Popoholic

Have a seat all Sports Illustrated models, because nobody can work a two piece like Steven Tyler – Hollywood Tuna

Something called the Sportsman Channel is giving something called a Sarah Palin a TV show – Jezebel

Katy Perry went on the Brit Brit meltdown diet after her marriage ate shit – ICYDK

Brit Brit wants a little girl so she won’t feel so alone in the world…. – Popsugar

I guess it’s never too late for some Rutger Hauer dick bush – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Spalding from American Horror Story: Coven, is that you, girl? – The Berry

The new Nymphomaniac poster could double as a PSA for hos who let Shia LaDouche near their vagina: bring a book, because you might get bored – Pajiba

The Friday Night Lights movie is never ever ever EVER ever going to happen – Videogum

Gavin Rossdale hangs out with Daisy Lowe – Just Jared

The Twins from the Matrix, every Komondor dog and the white mop that’s been sitting in my mom’s garage for years are just some of the bitches who work the white dreads look better than Lady CaCa does – I’m Not Obsessed

Tags: Afternoon Crumbs

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