Carrie Underwood Has A Holy Message For All The Meanies

December 7, 2013 / Posted by:

Last night, Carrie Underwood let all of us hating cunts know that we need the assistance of her designated driver and she’s praying for our dark, mean, shitty souls. Pray for me, Carrie! But I hope Carrie prays more convincingly than she did on The Sound of Music Live! or else my dark soul is fucked to hell. Carrie is right, though. Meanies hating on her performance are worse than the Nazis! Hating on Carrie Underwood is one of the worst sins you can commit. It says that in the B-sides of the Bible. I think it’s 0 BiteMe F:U-2.

And I do need Jesus, but his secretary tells me it’s going to be a while before he gets to me since he’s busy watching Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music to wash Carrie’s Maria from his mind.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >