A day before his born day on December 4th, Jay-Z announced to the world that he and Beyonce are going completely vegan for 22 days, because they want to cleanse themselves spiritually and physically. Haha. No, they’re telling everyone they’re going vegan for 22 days, because it’s trendy and they’re craving their favorite protein of all: attention.
I guess Blue Ivy Carter’s creators aren’t totally hugging all of the vegan lifestyle, because Beyonce showed up to vegan restaurant Cafe Gratitude in L.A. in a pepperoni pizza ensemble. So some vegan’s sitting there eating his tempeh and wet leaves sandwich when Beyonce strolls in with cooked cow coins all over her body. She looked like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s Tumblr background. Okay, her outfit wasn’t that serious and I’m sure nobody was offended, because nobody was in the restaurant since Jay-Z’s bodyguards probably kicked all those grass eaters out of there!
So her pepperoni pizza ensemble wasn’t that bad, but what she wore to a vegan restaurant the next day definitely made everybody in there roll their eyes to the left… to the left (I hate myself for typing that too). Beyonce ate at Native Foods in Westwood while wearing a Christopher Kane wool-blend parka with a fox fur collar. The Daily Mail has pictures of that foolery. Wearing real fur to a vegan restaurant… That’s the corner where Dumb Fuck and Tacky Mess meet. But in Beyonce’s defense, I’m sure that dead animal on her shoulders ate a plant-based diet while it was alive.
I can’t wait to see what she’s going to wear to a vegan restaurant today. I’m going to go with a beef jerky bikini and a lion carcass cape. No, too much. Beyonce’s going to keep it demure by painting her naked body with pig’s blood. She’s going minimalist today!