If you’re wondering what Spencer Pratt has been up to lately (I’ll wait while you search high and low for that fuck your mom gave you for your birthday last year), the half of the collective asshole formerly known as Speidi made up of 99.99% less silicone and with a 47% more punchable face has been getting his learn on at USC.
“I’m done with classes,” he tells Us Weekly exclusively. “I still have one final, Spanish 3, but thankfully I have two weeks to study for it. My degree is going to be in political science.”
More like Poly Sigh since NOBODY asked. He also tweeted: “Today was my last day of College @USC! Best 10 years of my life! #Trojans”, breathing some life into the Clooney side of the “celebrities on Twitter are morons” debate. When asked by US Weekly why it took him so long to graduate, Spencer took a quick second to yank out his anal beads or Heidi Montag‘s old implants or whatever the hell he shoves up there to let his mouth do the talking once in a while and talked out of his ass, saying he was too busy “being famous” and he should “probably have a doctorate or two” by now.
Spencer should have used the last ten years of his life studying finance because InTouch says he and Heidi managed to blow through $10 million in four years. They spent $100,000/month maintaining Heidi’s Japanese hump doll look, $10,000/week at restaurants and $2.5 million on Heidi’s album that anybody with ears could have told them wouldn’t have gotten off the ground with pulleys, industrial hydraulics and a prayer. He also compared himself and Heidi to Jay-Z and Beyoncé and I think we can just let Bey take this one.