Detective La Toya Got Married!

December 6, 2013 / Posted by:

Right after I declared it a slow news day for me, the biggest story of the century decade year month week day hour hits: DETECTIVE LA TOYA GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF MARRIAGE! Release the doves!

Radar says that 57-year-old Toy Toy made her business partner/longtime friend Jeffre Phillips her second husband in L.A. today. If you’re a conman murderer, now is the time to do some bad shit, because Detective La Toya is currently off the clock since she’s busy celebrating her new marriage. La Toya’s mother Katherine Jackson and Prince Michael I were both at the wedding. And I’m going to choose to believe that Blanket was the flower boy, because it would be a serious crime if he wasn’t.

I’ve seen oJeffre on La Toya’s reality show and his intricately plucked eyebrows make my lashes tingle and his pucker makes my prostate twitch. Jeffre Phillips (typing that name made me squirt out a drop of hummingbird juice) is the perfect husband for Detective La Toya, because he’ll help her to elevate her eyebrow situation and he’ll hold her hand tight as they get his and hers anal bleaching.

Congrats to Detective La Toya and her glitter-glazed husband friend.

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