Afternoon Crumbs

December 5, 2013 / Posted by:

That Nelson Mandela/MLK Jr. mix-up tweet from Wonky McValtrex that’s been making the rounds is a hoax. It’s obvious it’s a fake, because bitch doesn’t know who Nelson Mandela was and she probably thinks Jiminy Cricket is the one who gave the “I Have A Dream” speech – Buzzfeed

Colin Firth, I still would, but his parched bangs need a touch of some VO5 – Lainey Gossip

Dear Madge, please get away from Sean Penn and put Baby Brahim on one of those toddler leashes – Celebitchy

Chelsea Handler is the Jennifer Jason Leigh to Jennifer Aniston’s Bridget Fonda - The Berry

Kim Zolciak tweets a picture of her post-baby body and claims she’s a size 4 now. I don’t even think that wig on her head wears a size 4… - Reality Tea

Sorry, we’re all out of CGI until next year, because The Amazing Spider-Man 2 used it all – IDLYITW

If this was real, I’d buy a lifetime supply of Abreva and move back to NYC – Towleroad

Chaz Bono looks like shit with black hair – The Superficial

Jocelyn Wildenstein looks like shit with black hair – Popsugar

I want to hang this picture of Rose McGowan’s puppy biting at her tit in my bathroom – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

FYI: This is what shows up at your front door when you call the celebrity look-alike agency and tell them you want a Kim Kartrashian impersonator but you’ve only got two quarters and a half empty bottle of Boones to spend – Hollywood Tuna

Carol Channing wore it better – Popoholic

Another positive effect of the good shit: smoking it will give me a pair of my very own magnificent chichis – Jezebel

If you’re out of Ambien and need a sleep aid, here’s Lana Del Rey’s 30-minute-long short movie – OMG Blog

What in the Hell kind of GD outfit is Juliette Binoche wearing? – The Frisky

Jordan Catalano and Shailene Woodley walked together the other day - Just Jared

Jimmy Fallon gets some Dick’s – SOW

In case you’re wondering why the Mushroom Queen of Thousand Oaks has guards around her driveway, Amanda Bynes is out of rehab – ICYDK

The worst thing you could ever call someone is a “Fifty Shades of Grey star.” That’s really cold – I’m Not Obsessed

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