Dear staff at the receiving anger management rehab center: hide yo chairs, pad yo walls and hope that Chris Brown has learned something in group therapy because the old, ragey asshole Chris will lose his shit over Frank Ocean’s cousin suing him for over $3 million.
TMZ says that Sha’Keir Duarte has filed papers in his lawsuit against Chris, asking for millions in damages stemming from a fight between Fist, Frank and their respective groups of hangers on and bodyguards. The breakdown is $1 million for pain, suffering and inconvenience, $1 million for emotional distress, $1 million for punitive damages and $60k for medical expenses. Chris had already countersued Duarte, falling back on the super-mature argument of toddlers everywhere- “he started it!“.
$60,000 in medical bills?? What kind of fight are we talking here because unless they all took lessons from the queen of the motherfucking throw down, that sounds a bit excessive. Maybe a hospital stay was required after Sha’Keir exhausted himself circling around Chris’s posse for twenty minutes before anybody even threw a punch. Straight thuggin’.
If we’re just going to throw lawsuits at Chris for pain and suffering, I’d like to sue him for a millions just for the emotional distress resulting from going to six fucking weddings where the bride and groom insisted on doing the “Forever” entrance, unless he wants to settle it the old fashioned way. He’d better watch his back, because Chris wouldn’t stand a chance against my sweet windmill arm moves and my expert sparring training. COME AT ME, BREEZY!