RIP the moist towelette industry. Because now that the style icon of our time and Queen of the Oscars Sally Kirkland has stepped in front of the cameras with a dirty mouth covered with the battle splatters she got during a delicious fight with an Arby-Q, everyone’s going to proudly walk around like they just ate out Jessica Simpson. Moist towelettes, floss and mouthwash are over. It’s all about the barbecue sauce mouth. Munch on that BBQ, ignore that stack of napkins and let yourself be glamorous.
At last night’s star-studded (see: Sally, Lorenzo Lamas, Finola Hughes, Tom Arnold and Penelope Ann Miller) screening of American Hustle in L.A., Sally Kirkland showed everyone that she’s so confident with her beauty that she didn’t even check her shit in a mirror after going crazy on some roast beef in the car ride over. Who cares if a bunch of dogs and Rob Kardashian tried to lick the horsey sauce drool off of the side of her mouth. There’s a price to being a beauty vanguard. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe she just doesn’t give a fuck.
And on another note, Sally Kirkland is the only natural blonde (yes, bitch, I said NATURAL) who can work a side ponytail better than Stephanie Tanner.