Zooey Deschanel Might Be A Moody Bitch

December 3, 2013 / Posted by:

Who fucking isn’t?” – everybody on the damn planet.

I’m taking this one with a grain of salt, mostly because I’m still feeling the lasting effects of celebrating Moody Bitch Monday with the left side of the Taco Bell menu and without pants. If you want to know what a lost weekend with Pete Doherty or K-Y Warming Jelly  on crack would feel like, drop some Fire sauce on your crotch.

Radar says Zooey Deschanel’s sweet hipster princess act is bullshit and that she’s been pissing off everyone on the set of New Girl.

“Although the show has other bosses, including creator Liz Meriwether and producer Katherine Pope, Zooey rules the roost,” the source dishes. “And she gets moody and starts making rules on the set which is upsetting a lot of the cast and crew members.

“The show’s schedule really drives Zooey up a wall, because they’re always running behind when the full cast is on set.

“So now, Zooey insists on days ending with scenes that just feature her and one other actor. When that can’t happen due to the production schedule, however, she’s unhappy and all hell breaks loose,” says the source.

What kind of rules are we talking about here?

- Polish Zooey’s glasses for 5 full minutes between shots even though there are no lenses in them.
- All employees must refer to Ms. Deschanel as “quirky” or “adorkable”.
- When Zooey inexplicably breaks into song and dance, everyone must stop what they are doing and supply jazz hands.
- There will be no less than 17 pairs of tights available to Zooey at any given moment.

Nobody should be forced to work in such conditions! Steve from the vegan catering truck should feel like he can go to HR to complain about the dress code stating all employees wearing shorts must have a waistband no less than three inches from their nipples without fear of forever being bitchfaced through the veil of Zooey’s bangs while she strums a ukelele.

(Photo: Wenn)

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