Tom Daley’s Doing Oscar-Winning Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black

Just a day after Tom Daley declared in a video that he happens to be dating a human who’s got a peen, E! News says that the peen he’s humping on belongs to Dustin Lance Black who won an Oscar for writing the screenplay for Milk. Cut to Taylor Lautner throwing a bitchy “enjoy my seconds, twink” look at Tom Daley. And yes, I’ll wait here while you Google those bareback pics of DLB from a million years ago.

E! doesn’t have any other details other than that, but a source tells the The Sun (via NYDN) that Tom and Dustin don’t really care that there’s 20 years between their asses. Tom is 19 and DLB is 39. The source spit this out:

“He’s besotted with Dustin. They love each other and aren’t concerned what anyone says about age difference.”

Last month, Queerty posted pictures of Twinky Tom and DLB getting coffee together in Hollywood.

These two don’t really make sense to me at all, but I’m not going to judge (yes, I think that’s a first). The heart wants what the heart wants and sometimes the heart wants to pound rapidly while getting fucked by a 19-year-old British diver with abs you could break your teefs on. And yes, I just called Tom the top. What a world, what a world!