Mickey’s Parade Ice Pops!
In my post yesterday about Joe Jonas calling out Mickey Mouse for being a beard-hating, life-controlling pimp, I mentioned something about a Mickey Mouse dildo. Dlisted reader Johanna wrote me and said that “Mickey Mouse dildo” reminded her of those Mickey’s Parade ice pops from the 80s and 90s. YES! She’s right. Those Mickey’s Parade ice pop were totally frozen Disney dildos and the four of them together were like a dildo training kit. Goofy was for beginners, Donald Duck was for intermediate users and Mickey and Minnie were for advanced hos who could swallow up those ears like nothing. Those aren’t ears, those are sugar wall scrapers of ecstasy.
So let’s all pay tribute to Mickey’s Parade ice pops: a frosty treat for all you fuck holes. If you don’t have a freezer burned coochie or b-hole afterward, you didn’t have a good time.