Tom Daley Is Dating A Dude

Bronze medal-winning British Olympic diver and the sweetheart twink of the 2012 Olympics Tom Daley made all of his fangirls loudly weep into their crotches this morning when he said in a video that he’s been diving into the peen pond for the last few months. Tom says in the video that he met a very special dude a few months ago and has been wrapping his heart (and other parts) around him ever since. Tom didn’t spill the name of his boyfriend, but it’s not hard to figure out who he is. He’s the one on the streets of London whose face is loudly saying, “Yes, I get to fill Tom Daley’s rock hard cum gutters every day. Stay jealous, whores.”

While staring off to the side (WHY AREN’T YOU LOOKING ME IN THE EYE, TOM?!!!), the 19-year-old diving twinkie told his fans that he’s always dated chicks but he’s dating a dude now:

“I’ve been dating girls and I’ve never really had a serious relationship to talk about and now I feel ready to talk about my relationships. Come spring this year my life changed massively when I met someone and it made me feel so happy, so safe, and everything just feels great. And, well, that someone is a guy.”

Tom says that he’s talking about this, because he wants to set the record straight bi after The Mirror twisted his words in an interview. Tom also let it be known that coochie isn’t completely off of his plate. He’s dating a dude right now, but he’s still into girls. So Tom is bi or he’s just cruising along the bi highway before switching to the gay highway or whatever. I’m happy for Tom, Tom’s boyfriend and both of their fuck parts.

Maria Bello came out over the weekend, Tom Daley came out today, so we just need one more coming out to complete the coming out trifecta! The ball (pun intended) is in your court, Travolta!