Ooooh, the frumpy single HR lady in your office (her name is Barb or Janet, right?) has reason to shave her legs again! In an interview with W Magazine (via Us Weekly) George Clooney explains that Crate and Barrel needs to stop pestering him to register for stemless wine glasses, because he hasn’t found TRU LUV yet (has he no mirrors in his house? Everybody knows George’s one true love is George. Cut to Clooney and the mirror embracing in the rain, Notebook-style):
Who is the love of his life? “I haven’t met her yet,” says the Gravity actor, who was most recently linked to Croatian model Monika Jakisic. Other Clooney exes include Stacy Keibler, Elisabetta Canalis — and actress Talia Balsam, to whom he was married from 1989 to 1993.
“When I was a kid, I was in love with Audrey Hepburn. I watched Roman Holiday when I was 11, and I thought she was as elegant as anything I’d ever seen. And I fell madly in love with her,” he admits. The actor continues, “I also always loved Grace Kelly. I mean, when she comes out of the water in To Catch a Thief, I thought, That’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Well, there go my hopes that Elisabetta Canalis was his one great love and we’d get to see that exquisite barbed-wire tattoo in a Vera Wang wedding dress. Also, is Sarah Larson more of an Audrey or a Grace? I’m curious.
This all reminds me of the time my mother was obsessed with matchmaking my single ass with Jake Gyllenhaal. I know, it makes no sense, stay with me here. For a couple of months, my mother would call me up and be like: “Allison! I had that dream again! You told me you were bringing your new boyfriend over for dinner and when I opened the door, it was Jake Gyllenhaal! He was so nice and a real gentleman!” She’d see pap pics of Jake Gylenhaal in Toronto and frantically email me: “BRUSH YOUR HAIR AND GO OUTSIDE, YOU MIGHT RUN INTO HIM!!” When you’re sitting in 8-layers of Cool Ranch Dorito dust watching the Myrtle Urkel episode of Family Matters for the 20th time, a small part of you thinks: “Maybe my mother is right. I should set my sights on a closeted A-list celebrity.” And that’s the story of how beards are born. The End.
(Pic via W Magazine)