Since today’s theme is obviously twats of all kinds, here’s Sharon Osbourne telling Graham Norton (via People) about her most painful plastic surgery ever. Sharon’s been pulled, nipped, tucked and had her face rotated into all kinds of different shapes and sizes, but she said that surgery that really had her screaming for the baby Jesus to end her misery was vaginoplasty. Judging by how tight her mouth looks in that picture above, you’d think she had vaginoplasty on her face mouth, but no, she had it on her down low parts. I guess having a bunch of kids stretched out her chocha and she really didn’t like sending a search party in there every time Ozzy accidentally fell in during fuck times. So she took herself to the plastic surgeon and now it’s tighter than a virgin snake’s cloaca. In the video at the end of this post, Sharon, Graham and Colin Farrell had a short conversation about her sparkling new snatch:
Graham Norton: What’s the worst procedure? What was the most painful procedure?
Sharon: Having my vagina tightened. It was the worst. It was just excruciating. Excruciating!
Colin: What did that entail? What did that? What did that entail?
Sharon: Oh, I’ll show you later.
The more you know, I guess. Every time a celebrity talks about getting her coochie cinched, I just have to make my retinas curl by Googling before and after pictures of pussy tightening surgery. If you haven’t done it, don’t do it. If you’re curious, just Google “Keith Richards with his tongue out” instead. That’s pretty much what most of the before pictures look like.