In a new documentary about Manchester United’s Class of ’92, David Beckham admits that when he joined the team at the age of 16, his teammates hazed him by making him jack off on a picture of a former playing while they all jeered at his ass. Becks says that the picture he squirted his dick sauce on was a picture of Manchester United legend Clayton Blackmore who looked like this:
I’ll wait here while you do yourself to that picture, because I know those curly bangs, that stache and those overgrown eyebrows (I think they’re growing onto his eyelids) are doing things to you and making your body self-lubricate itself.
According to Metro, Becks describes his hazing ritual like this (Tip: Don’t read it in his Minnie Mouse voice unless you want to make your nipples deflate):
“Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones! The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things, while looking at Clayton Blackmore… I mean it was embarrassing to talk about! I was embarrassed when I was saying it on camera let alone talking about it more. But it’s something that we all had to go through. It was definitely something I wouldn’t like to go through again!”
Finally, after all these years, Posh Beckham now knows why Becks always wants to tape an 8X10 glossy of Clayton Blackmore onto her face before they do sex.
When it comes to fucked-up hazing rituals, this one is pretty tame. I mean, who hasn’t fapped on a picture in front of a bunch of dudes?Kanye does that all the time (except the picture is of himself). But you know, I’ve had this dream before, except Becks was a lot older and a picture of Clayton Blackmore was replaced with Cristiano Ronaldo’s greasy charbroiled ass cheeks.
And I don’t know why Becks is acting all embarrassed about this shit. It’s not like that was the only time he ever squeezed his peen on a picture. He used to hang around Tom Cruise a lot and was “flirting” with Scientology. Jacking it on a picture of L. Ron Hubbard is a Scientologist’s version of praying.